Geek Chic 7

Geek Chic 7

Who knew Adam would lock himself in the room the whole day because of one simple question?

He didn’t need to do that. But maybe if he didn’t, I’d never get to fathom how serious this is towards his (fragile) feelings. Oh wells.

“ADAM!” Dad called out, knocking hard on his door. The flowing guilt landed and took over me. I must have glowed with guilt because my dad had guessed it.

“What did you do, Winn?”

Me?

“Uhm,” my hands got clammy. “I asked him some stuff…”

My dad glared at me intently.

“Exactly what stuff?” He made quote marks in the air.

“His real excuse for transferring school?” My voice went one octave higher in the end.

I wanted to continue. But then Mum climbed up and pulled me away from Dad. “You what?” she asked, keeping her voice fierce and low.

“What is wrong with that question?!” I wrung myself away from her grip. Is my brother some kind of control freak that I have to tolerate his emotions all the time? Come on! I had to change school for my stupid brother’s dilemma. Oh, and guess what? I don’t even know what it was! How unfair.

“Mum. Please. He’s a guy, probably a man! Stop pampering him like this.” I said loud and clear, giving my mum a shock. I turned to look away when her tears begin welling in her eyes. Darn. Adam used to be strong and outspoken, not the other way round. Something’s gone bad, and according to the universal force, a sister ought to know what it was about. Correct?

“I thought you promised me that you’d never mention this again. Until he’s ready.” She whispered close to my ears, her voice wobbly.

Ready?

“When will he be ready, Mum? In a million years?” I didn’t rotate to face her this time. And I wasn’t ashamed of myself. My mum and Adam should be.

I walked away from my Mum and Adam’s room and ran down the staircase. Forget about the dinner. Forget about the Mum talk. I’m going out.

* * *

“Winnie?”

Bebe opened the door of her house, looking bewildered. She stood there, glued on the ground, the door open wide. I hadn’t packed any clothes or whatsoever. But I was not going home either to get it.

“Are you gonna lemmi in, or what?” I asked, rather rudely. Alas, Earth to Bebe as she invited me in and had me to sit on the sofa.

“My parents are out, and Chuck’s got a date so he’s out, too.” She walked over to the kitchen and got us tea.

When she finally got the tea done, she presented it on the coffee table with me slumped on the sofa uncomfortably. And more likely, unladylike.

“So what brings you here today?” she sat down across from me and stared at me, looking concerned.

I sat up and shrugged. “Just asking- how did your Chuck bro get a girlfriend?”

It was silent for a nano second before Bebe sat straighter and her face twisted in inconvenience like she didn't want to answer this question. She must have thought I was going nuts.

“What!? Y-you have a crush on him?!”

She’s gone overboard. Chuck was a pizza guy, bloated and 19. Who wants him, anyway?

“NO!” I shrieked. “Just – how did he get a girlfriend when my brother can’t.”

Bebe looked relieved. “Cash,” she boasted. “My bro, he works hard.”

And eats harder.

“Oh.”

Bebe got hold of the call receiver and punched in numbers. “Who are you calling?” I queried, getting up and sipping my cup of tea. Are mum and Dad worried about me?

“Dame. He should come see you, too.” Bebe replied, looking cheerful. Bebe’s smile made me wonder what was wrong with her? Her best friend just suddenly showed up, asking about her brother so randomly and now she picks up the phone calling Dame and is smiling like a moron?

“What’s wrong with you? LOVE-STRUCK?” I asked, after having a long sip of the chamomile tea. Gosh, Bebe makes like, the BEST tea. I felt instantly better.

“Er….” the phone still in between of her shoulder and ear, she looked up like she was pondering that answer.

* * *

“Winnie!” Dame hugged me, “I miss you so terribly much.” Dame had arrived and had hugged me immediately at the open of the door. He didn’t even greet Bebe. I caught a glimpse of her scorning. Was she actually jealous?

“Yeah, me too.” It suddenly felt great to be hugged willingly. From a guy, at least.

“How have you been?” he asked, stepping into the house with great delight. “And hey Bebe, thanks for calling.”

Bebe grinned.

“Ohh, not so well. Hey by the way Bebe,” I rotated to face her as her scorn got off as quick as you can say ‘what’, “I’m not actually here to ask about Chuck.”

“Really?”

“Heck, yeah!” We settled down and everyone lied on the ground, facing the ceiling, under the fan. “See, my brother got real mad when I asked him what he was teased for on the way home.” I explained, sighing.

“Oh.” The both of them voiced.

“And well, he really really got mad and locked himself in his room.” I explained further, now closing my eyes. It felt so cozy here. “And well, mum got a fit because of what I did. Then I was pissed, how could she actually tolerate him? It’s like-“

“He’s a girl brother?” Dame continued, finishing my sentence.

“Exactly!”

“Poor you.” Bebe uttered, a little queasiness in her voice.

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked Bebe.

It was a whole 10 seconds of silence.

“Sure,” Bebe replied at last, “why not.”

At once I could sense the jealousy in her voice. No worries, I’ll be discussing this with her tonight. Thank God Dame didn’t come along, because I knew it was somewhat related to him. The phone rang after a few seconds I doze off. “I’ll get it..” Dame said, his voice sounding real tired. Bebe and I laid on the floor, still sleeping.

“Winnie!” I heard. “It’s your parents.” I slid my eyes open. My parents?

“Yeah, your parents.” Dame said, closing the receiver with his hands so my mum or dad couldn’t hear him.

“What do they want?” I asked, climbing up.

“Uhm,” Dame answered politely into the phone, “She’s sort of sleeping now.”

Stupid Dame. Sleeping?! What? with you? “Not sleeping, you idiot! I’m…uhm…on the phone, with someone else.” I hissed at him.

“I mean, she’s on the phone with someone else.” He said the words so exactly, that it felt as if it was scripted!

“Oh, okay.” He said, and let down the receiver.

“Your mum said that she thinks you’d rather sleep here tonight. And well, she’ll be bringing the clothes later.” Dame walked over to us. I glanced at my wristwatch. It was 6 already. Good thing it was a Friday or else I couldn’t have slept here tonight.

I turned and looked over at Bebe who was still sleeping soundly.

“You wanna talk?” he asked, grabbing me by my hand as I tried to get up. I nodded weakly.

We walked over to the sofa, a distance away from Bebe.

“So how’s school?” he questioned, crossing his legs. I realized he was blushing a little.

“Well, I met this guy. Actually, I bumped into him and he’s been acting a little weird.” Since he wanted the explanation, I’d give it with pleasure. “And before I came here, I had this slightest thought about bfs. Maybe I need one.”

He looked alarm. “A boyfriend? You crazy? You don’t need a boyfriend. You’re fully capable of yourself!”

I debated back, “Capable?! Yeah right! I feel so clueless and lost now you wouldn’t even imagine who Winnie is right now!”

“That’s why you have me.” And he added swiftly. “And Bebe.”

“Whatever, I don’t feel like talking about it. It makes me mad. Right now, I’ll just let everything flow. Naturally. Like in the Bible, don’t worry about tomorrow as it will worry about itself.” I smiled casually and assured him I was fine because he still looked a little shaken of what I had said.

“Winnie, promise me something.” He whispered, focusing on me. “Promise me, that whatever happens, and if you need ANYTHING at all – you have to tell me.”

Tears started to stream down my face, again. I cupped my face, full of shame. Great! Two in a million.

“I promise.” It wasn’t exactly my fault I had actually let go of my headstrong and pretend-to-be-strong self. It was practically his fault for pulling me into the water along with him.

Geek Chic 6

Geek Chic 6

And the whole thing about the incident, seriously seemed unintended. So, someone from Hollywood should call him out for some resume fill-up.

At the end of the day, when I was roaming around the school, feeling a little blue(since I was really having some hormone changes, don’t ask what), I saw The Guy running towards me. Well, first I thought I had mistaken him from some OTHER guy, but nooo, it was The Guy.

“Hey!” The Guy cried, “Wait up!” In a matter of fact, I WAS waiting up. Because I wasn’t running or anything – I didn’t have the reason why so. And anyway, I was roaming around at some certain area. Where all the navy colored shredded lockers were behind me.

My mind twirled. “Uhhmmm…?” that was all I could mutter when he heaved a heavy sigh and screeched before me. He had on this torn up jeans, Levi. And vintage green TopShop shirt. And for a particular reason I didn’t know, I had to point out that he had muscles. For a 13 going to be 14 year old lad, it’s already counted pretty darn good.

“Hey,” he gave me a handshake, except I wasn’t responding back. When I suddenly gained conscious from the whole what-what-what? thing, I felt so bad for not shaking his hand as a friendly gesture. What was wrong with me!? His eyes bore into mine, indirectly carving a deep hole in my stone heart. His hand was still in front of me, shaking a little. I nervously took hold of it and well, shook.

“I’m Ian.”

Ian. Cool.

“I’m,” I avoided staring into his dark brown hazel eyes,”Winnie.”

“Cute.” He commented, letting go of my hand. I gazed around, no one was nearby. It was only Ian and I in our own isle. Our corner. It made me shudder.

I looked back and smiled generously. “Haha, really? Thanks.”

He smiled back, his smile was broad and it seemed like it reached his ears. His eyes, I noticed, were conspicuously huge. But not the Crazy Frog kind, the cute kind. That’s when I slammed my forehead thinking how vulnerable I am. I mean, I’ve met him TODAY and I JUST knew he was IAN. (Did I also mention his name made me feel quirky and weird, in a good way?) How could I jump into conclusion that he would be categorized as the ‘next cute thing’ rating?

It so didn’t make sense.

“What’s wrong?” He laughed. Of course I couldn’t go up and say, “I felt that I was being too stupidly vulnerable because I think you’re cute at the first day I’ve met you. Yeah, that’s what.”

“Oh,” Instead of actually being stupid, I had another option, “Nothing.”

I grabbed my bag up from the floor and smiled again at him, a little fake but I needed to hurry. Because, again, he actually dumped salad on my shirt today. Humiliation spells it. How could I ever forget, right?

And oh yeah, he saw me crying, with all mascara smeared on my face. And plus! He was the one in a million person who has EVER seen me doing that. Crying, I mean.

“Where you going?” I heard him when I was starting my pace. Away from him. I looked over my shoulders. I seriously didn’t know. Go home? Alone? I was supposed to wait for the bus. It didn’t come around, for I don’t know what reasons.

Wait. An idea snapped. Adam.

“Uhm, finding my brother? See you soon.” I replied back, giving a casual bye. I could never imagine us together.

Adam. Where was he, anyway? The dusty stairs up the second floor were empty. I climbed two steps a time and walked towards his class. The door was closed so I had to open it, but before that, all my intuition called me to stop, drop, and listen. I leaned my ear towards the hard wood door and tried very carefully to listen.

“Rich guy?” a hoarse voiced guy mocked . Probably at my brother, considering him being such a wimp. “Come on, why would you be coming here?”

Here? Where here?

Yes, then I heard some squeaky girl voice. My girl brother, if that made any sense. “B-B-because-“ Oh my gosh, he was stuttering? This gets better!

“B-b-because of what?” the hoarse guy provoked again. His voice getting louder, then I heard some laughter. Boy laughs. They laugh like hyenas, trust me. I’ve heard em’.

“B-because of some stuff.” His creative tone struck me. I’ve never heard him stutter in his life! Okay, maybe he has but not when I’m around. He’s too busy acting ‘My Big Bro’. I didn’t buy it, anyway.

“Okay, uhm because I’ve done something wrong in my previous school. Okay?! That’s it.” Adam sounded annoyed and ridiculed at the same time.

“What wrong thing? Maybe you should share with us, you know, for our future preference? That, we could, be like you, rich guy who knows everything in class.” Some other guy interjected. This guy sounded real macho.

That’s when I tripped over my own shoelaces(Yes, I know!) and knocked my head hard on the door causing it to vibrate and a loud thump. Great job, Winnie.

The next thing I knew when I opened my eyes were 4 young guys and my brother. I wouldn’t want to describe the guys, one was real big, for a 15 year-old. And one was skinny, boney skinny. And yeah, it’s gross just to look at him. I turned away from their confused faces turning into angry faces. Let me tell you exactly how I rolled over when I knocked my head on the door, the boys opening the door and finding a lady out there, tripping her own shoelaces. Real joke.

“What the hell?!” one cried out.

“Winnie?”

“Who!?”

“Nevermind.” my brother answered back, embarrassed that I showed up, perhaps.

I stood up and gained my balance, with one of the guy’s help. The big one. Weird, I know. He pulled me up in a jerk of a hand and I was like, “Thanks.”

The sensational and gratifying feeling was gone fast when I announced my profile to the low class and low educated(I suppose) people, including my idiotic brother.

“I’m his sis, Winnie. Nice to meet y’all.” I smiled pathetically. I went over to Adam and grabbed him out. “See y’all.” And walked away.

* * *

“What was that about?” My voice suddenly appeared from nowhere. We were on our way home since the bus still didn’t show up and no one really intends to wait for the big and small guys to come around again.

“Nothing.” His octaves went higher. Gosh. I hate when someone says ‘nothing’, even though I say that ALL the time but. It’s different.

“Right. Nothing.” I rolled my eyes, and shifted my heavy backpack to my other shoulder. Then I had this vague and fuzzy feeling I should do some curls on my hair. I saw some long haired girls doing curls and they look so different and fab. Jen Aniston would look really elegant if she had curls.

“You know,” I started again, “I’m really inquisitive about the whole teasing thing.”

He glared at me threateningly.

His walks became faster, and I could see sweat dripping down. It wasn’t very hot out here. “Adam, if you don’t tell me about this, you know very well I’m not gonna stop bothering you.”

My indirect coaxing didn’t work. It only made him walk faster and reached home before me, locked the door and shower. And didn’t appear again. Fine, if he wants to play it this way. I’ll let him, two can play in this game anyway. I’ll be asking him that every single day. The tease, I mean.

I locked myself in the room, too. It was such a strange day and I felt terrible. At everything. The tingglish feeling when I cry started to rose up again. And this time, all the more I wanted to stop it, I didn’t let myself. I cried. Hard and loud. For the world to know.

To know when Mary was crying, when I didn’t know why, I sat there comforting her when I was reaping myself out, too. I don’t know why. I seriously didn’t, I was indeed clueless. Maybe because no one really understands me. No one felt what I feel all the time. And you know what I feel all the time? Welcome to my daily thoughts:

1. Why is the world so cruel?

2. Why does rape happen?

3. Why are girls so much targeted and treated like toys everywhere?

4. Why are there rules in school? (Yeah, but who doesn’t agree?)

5. Why don’t I feel wanted and befriended even though I have Bebe and Dame. (and Mary + Ian.)

6. Why am I always getting humiliated?

7. Why Adam?

8. Am I finally psycho?

9. Why in the world am I thinking about this?

So fine, I can’t do much about number 1,2,3 and 4. But I certainly could change 5. And you know what fleeted into my mind faster than lightning? A boyfriend.

Yeah, you wouldn’t imagine. A boyfriend, for Winnie. Winnie and Boyfriend. Do you wanna puke now? I’ve never thought about a boyfriend. And, well, a boyfriend seems, actually, okay. A boyfriend. Yeah.

But first of all, I HAVE NO BOYS THAT I KNOW OF. Except Ian and Dame. And Dame is my best friend, not a boy friend. AND IAN? He’s a creep. So cross and cross.

And then I thought, what a prejudice. Ian’s okay. He’s nice. At least he thinks Winnie(the name, not the person) is cute. Winnie sounds like a boy to everyone. So yeah, that’s why I despise Winnie The Pooh so much. It made the whole world so stereotype about WINNIE. Honestly, when you read about this at first, did you think I was a boy?

I knew it.

Anyway, a boyfriend would be good. And a way to do that is to actually become a better person and a better person NEEDS a better look and a better look isn’t very much of a Winnie.

I realized my brain was dead.

And I felt hungry. I unlocked the door of my room and went into the kitchen. Mum was making some cookies, yay! Dad must probably be working, again. He’s a manager in this big company in our state and he’s actually very well-known. But that caused a big hectic, too.

“Hey mummy!” I shouted, literally. I ran over and hugged her with her hands up mid-way giving me a wave back. My tears soaked a little of her pink nylon shirt. It was a little low cut for my mum but she still seemed hot either way. Come on, she’s my mum!

“Oh gosh!” she pulled me away, leaving some chocolate dough on my arms. I winced. “What?! Are you crying, dear?”

Well, no. I just felt really random that I stuffed some ear drops into my eyes to feel pain so I would lose a little of the boredom. “Yes, mum, I cried.” It just blurted out. I didn’t, I was sure, want my mum to know about my nonsensical 9 stuff I think about everyday! And the whole ‘boyfriend’ thought.

“Why?” she walked over to the basin and washed her hands.

“Nothing,” I did it again, “You know, when my period comes, I have outbreaks, and emotional ones, too. So it’s pretty normal I cry out of no apparent reasons.”

“No.” she protested. “No, no one cries for no apparent reasons. Outbreak or not.”

She was correct. No one cries for no reasons. That’s when we sat down and I actually told her my 9 things. Amazingly enough, she listened instead of going the whole “What? You what!?”

I felt so much better, the burden of the world on my shoulders, lifted off. I didn’t tell her about the bf matter.

But she just told me that if I felt desolated and neglected, I should go around and associate more.

And not be like one of the girls in my previous school, Heather. She literally sits down and stares in wonder. Man, I guess I’m turning into one of her. Freak out!

Then when dinner was served, and Adam still didn’t appear, I knew something was wrong, instantly.