No matter how easy Mum's taking this, there's no doubt she'd be checking on him - regularly. At this moment, she's holding the steering wheel with a forced smile. I think she might be thinking of some sick stuffs I'd never do. Not the first time I visit a guy's house anyway, apart from Dame's. She steered the steering wheel to the right. I've told her the address, but I tore out the message part.
"Mum!" I whispered loudly, "you're looking too tensed! Just relax!"
She didn't, instead she looked at me with a frightening look. Like she was going to kick me out of the car if I ever opened my mouth again, so I just stared at the open window, watching the big trees sweep by like wind. I rolled down the window, and felt the breeze in my hair. I hope someone doesn't mistake me as a dog.
Frankly, I was so much more tensed than mum. And I had so much in my mind, scrambling to find sense. To kick sense out of everything else. I jumbled those thoughts, but all that came up were just stuffs like he'd slap me across the face or he ditches me, for the second time. I was afraid, and munched inside out.
"You're looking busted, too." Mum complimented, still staring blankly ahead. I looked at her, she was right, a mum is always right. "Yeahh..." My voice trailed off. What was there to lie about anyway?
Her expressions softened as she brushed her hand over my hair, "Don't worry, I don't think he came up to hurt you." She tried to smile, "but even if he does, you have us, remember that." Now her voice was strong and stiff, like it couldn't be compromised. I took the us part pretty lightly. It's strange, because even as I was literally jumping in my seat, I really don't think that would happen. Before it all matched, we've reached.
My heart pounded against my ribs, hard. I tried to breath, one, two, one, two. "Okay," I breathed in as I opened the car door. "I'll call you. And I won't be late, I'm not that vulnerable."
"We'll never know, would we?" She gave a mischievous smile that made her look like she was 18, a Nancy Drew, perhaps. "Anyway, I love you." She drove away, as I watched her wave her hand from behind. The revving of the car was gone now, and the street was bright but empty. Like how I was feeling. I walked up a few steps, and I realized there was no gate. Funny...
The wind softly whistled through the leaves in his little yellow garden., filled with yellow little lillies and of that sort. It didn't look much like anyone's house, actually. It was too, perfect. The yellow coloured flowers were more likely height arranged, the shortest to the tallest. That pulled it off at this place, was Ian that neat?
I glanced behind, and the doorbell was there. Hesitantly, I pressed it. For a few seconds, I just stood there like I was made of steel. I groaned, why do these things always happen to me? Still no one opened the door, or poke their heads out. I walked around, the chime dangling in the wind, and it made a harmonious sound. Sort of like a lullaby, I smiled. I walked to a small hut, not that much of a beauty because it was painted dark brown, and you could tell it was old already. The paints were starting to fade or scrape on its own, and the cover on top looked old and raggy. Maybe because it was a rag...
Then I saw a car, and an empty space, divided by a long piece of wood. I figured that was a garage. The car was maroon-coloured, a Mercedes, and it looked very posh. I thought that the whole family must have gone out, since there were only two spaces and one of it was gone. But how could Ian just leave me? Like this? DESOLATED ON HIS LITTLE PIECE OF ISLAND!?
As I started to panic, I heard the revving of a car, and I thought it was going to be Mum. So I pretended to charade, glowing with a smile so Mum would probably be affirmed that I was okay, and, not desolated, like I am, now.
But thankfully, it was someone else. The front seat was seated by a guy, approximately18 or so, with brunette hair, and a little chiseled rough guy look. He climbed out of the car with a jump, and the back doors opened. Then I spotted Ian, but he had this proud smile. I'm not sure what was going on, so I walked up to him...
"Hey," I greeted, avoiding his hazel eyes once more. "I-"
And I gasped, because the other person striding on the opposite of the side of the car Ian was standing on was, none other than Lynette herself.
I stopped and stared widely at her. What was she doing here?
"Oh hey!" She greeted me, and walked like she was on a runway towards me, "What's up?"
What's up? YOU tell me what's up.
"Oh hey!" She greeted me, and walked like she was on a runway towards me, "What's up?"
What's up? YOU tell me what's up.
I shook my head, obviously dazed enough to speak. Or more likely, smack. She took that as a cue and continued talking, "Ian's bro, Mack, was driving us to the mall. I needed some new clothes. You know, the holidays are around the corner." I nodded, his name was Mack. That's, ironic. I mean, considering that he's so well built you could possibly call him, I don't know, John? Edward? No, Edward's vampire-like.
But MACK? Add an S and you'll have it, SMACK.
I tried to keep my laughing behind, and I choked up coughing. Ian walked away from me, and then he urged Lynette to get into the house. She dug into her pockets and meddled with the keys. She was so nice here, talking to me like she was sane. What does that mean? I've been misunderstanding her all along?
It was like an invisible bulb just lit up in my head, and I thought of one most sensible answer to why she would follow Mack and Ian, and have their keys.
She's their sister.
"Are you two, siblings?" I asked, internally knowing it already.
He chortled, "Do we look alike?"
I tried to sum up, yes? No? "Uh," it sounded more like a question. But if Lynette were their sister, she'd never refer Mack as 'Ian's brother' would she? So, she's not?
"Your cousin?"
He shook his head, looking perplexed.
"Someone related?"
He shook his head again, and I gave up.
"Fine, is she like, your adopted someone?"
This time, he looked completely baffled. "Why would you say that?"
I shrugged, I couldn't exactly tell him the truth, what if I offended him or something. And he glanced at me up and down, lastly noticing how I looked today.
I tried to smile, but it turned out into a big huge cat-like teeth-ad smile. "You look..." he started.
"Yeahhh??"
"Whatever," he ended, like that! By then, I've stepped into his house. It was utterly dull inside. All angles were bleak white, like someone's just puked white. It made me shudder thinking about how gross I thought of it like. He walked ahead of me, and Mack, walking behind me, gave me a little nod and a sympathetic smile, like he knows what's going to happen. Something that would probably crash me into tiny unbearable pieces. Yeah, so likely me.
I took small steps and into a short hallway, and then around the corner was the living room. The sofas were, fortunately, a little coloured. Beige. Yucks. There placed a small coffee table in the middle and there stood a lovely rose, with thorns untrimmed inside a transparent oval vase. I glanced to the opposite direction, and there stood a big dining table. It was same as mine, crystal quartz-tiled too. The chairs, by the look of it, seemed heavy. And it looked very costly, as usual. Ian was pouring himself some juice, and he got one cup for me, too. I've come to notice he wore exactly how Lynette would expect any of his man to wear. He had this stupid choker on, and his shirt wrote, "No free hugs" and had this black skull in the middle, this looked entirely unlike him. And he wore jeans that was way too small for him, and it made his behind look a little too big. Why'd I care to dress up today anyway? His hair was not easy, like it always was. It was so overly spiked, I could have sworn it'd poke. And I think he pierced his ear. Ewww.
He walked over, the glasses in his hands, and I heard thumping from the stairs. Lynette came down, looking wary.
"Am I disturbing?"
We shook our heads, "We just got to the juice part," I said matter-of-factly. Her eyes widened with curiousity. "I kinda lost my earrings, Ian, could you have seen it?" She stooped around to look for it as I sat on one of the heavy chairs, taking every effort to firstly, lift the chair up, secondly, make it seem light enough for me. I failed the second one, because I could tell my face was all cringed up and in pain, and trust me, that doesn't look good.
"No," Ian replied, and he effortlessly lifted the chair up and slumped onto it. WHAT A GENTLEMAN. "Look Lyn, I'll help you find later, I gotta get back to Winnie."
She nodded, and then stooped around a little more and climbed upstairs.
I breathed in a little, but this time so much more easier. Ian looked tired, bored, and he looked like he would choose dying over talking to me. He wasn't him. And I, didn't like it.
"So," I started, trying to hint him that the conversation have to start.
"Right," he said, "you'd probably know already that Lynette was the one that smooched me."
"Really?"
"No, actually I smooched her."
"REALLY!?" This time, I was taken by shock.
"Yeah, well, it's just that..."
Go on.
"It's not like I don't like you, I just," he stuttered. Ugh, this is so frustrating. I edged around my seat, and I twisted knots around my hair. Hurry up! "I just don't like you enough."
He. doesn't. like. me. enough.
"So what does that mean?" I said, my voice sounding furious. I looked deeply into his eyes again, where was that intense soft look? This sounded like an abyss.
"It kinda means," he said again, his voice emotionless. "I don't exactly like you."
I realized Mack was feeling uncomfortable, and he looked around like he wasn't listening. When did he come in here anyway? He took a little glance at me, with the same apologetic look. And he swiftly stared in front again. He then switched on the TV, and unconsciously flicking the channels.
"You know, frankly," Ian's voice was now harsh, so so harsh, "it was all a dare."
"A dare?"
"Yeah, you were the new kid, my girlfriend's the cutie, and I'm the hunk." he explained, but I couldn't get it. He looked flabbagasted. "Geez, Winnie, think about it,would you?"
I strained. What was he saying?
"I'm saying that Lynette challenged me to go and pretend that I liked you. It wouldn't last forever, and I just took the dare to show her who I am. The brave and courageous one."
"If she was your girlfriend, why would she dare you to come flirt with me?!" I questioned, the pain haven't yet crawled into me, but I was patiently waiting for it.
He laughed his same laugh, but then, it was cruel. Like it were all along, but I was dumb enough to figure it out now.
"Don't get me wrong, I don't flirt with you." He said, looking like he'd make this his joke of 2009. "I just said I liked your bag."
"Yeah, and that we could have a chance in the future and you called me beautiful and stuff."
"Oh gosh, you're sooo naive." Lynette said, walking out. Her friendliness vanished, so predictable, am I wrong?
I turned to her, but Ian didn't budge. He looked at me, with his big you're-too-funny smile. "Come on, he said it was a dare. And anyway, you wouldn't have a chance with him, would you?!"
She laughed, throwing her head backwards. Mack walked away, perhaps he couldn't handle how I'm internally grieving. Well, at least he was empathetic. Not enough to come stand by me, though. I wish Adam was here.
"PLUS!" She added, imitating the E! reporters, "he has the right to call girls beautiful. Anyway, it was made to believe everyone's beautiful. Though we know it doesn't apply to many people." He looked at Ian, and Ian looked back. I was in the middle of the joke. And I'm sitting.
Gosh, I'm sooo naive.
I don't know what turned me on. But enough was enough, I'm 13 going on 14, and I have a right on my own dignity. I'm gonna fight this Lynette. She couldn't be that strong, her hands were made for matte and gloss after all. I wasn't going to punch her, but I know words could kill.
I stood up, kicking the chair behind me, sending it hitting the walls. In the midst of all this, I hope his parents wouldn't blame me for the chair thing. Back to the point, Lynette looked like she was expecting another joke from me, her hands covering her mouth.
Oh Lynette, this is gonna be so funny you couldn't even laugh at it.
Ian watched me, looking bored as usual. Okay, is this who he really is?! Then Lynette's got bad taste, and me, I'm toooo naive. I can't believe I can't even stand out by kicking a chair too hard.
"Look you little make-up fetteshist! Or whatever you call it." I started, standing opposite of her. My hair waved wildly as the wind steered in through the window. It was like the universe was helping me, urging me to go do what I want. The chimes outside was audible, but it didn't sound nice now. It sounded fierce, attacking Lynette with the rest of the universe, including me. I couldn't stand going back with another mystery in my mind, thinking why this happened. I couldn't stand going through the pain that, not because I've been hurt, but because I couldn't voice out. I have to do it. Even if I say something stupid.
She stared at me, still expectant for a joke.
"Let me tell you something, I'm not feared nor hurt by you. Or Ian, as a matter of fact. You're a little too small a size to tackle me. Forget the netball, everyone knows you never play well." I got that information from Mary, who was once in the club but quit because it was too easy to game.
"You played too well, didn't you? That Mary had to quit because it was too game for her." I said, with a tone like I don't have tomorrow to restart this again. In a split second, I have nothing to say.
"And go eat something, you probably have anorexia or something." I pointed out, looking at her skeletal figure. "Yucks. P.S: that's an eating disorder."
She got taken aback by that, and she speared me with her arrow of words. "Of course I know what ANOREXIA IS!You're not that pretty too, if you didn't know."
"Oh, I know." I said, giving her the you-don't-mess-with-me look. "But you're just downright ugly. If you chose Ian as your eternal soulmate, good for you. You two were meant to be together, until, of course, you died of hunger."
"Ugh." she gave her girly 'talk to the hand' gesture. She must as well be dumb to think anyone were to respond to her hand.
"Yeah, ugh as much as you want! I'm outta here, and I don't think I'm as naive as you, Miss Whatever I can't even pronounce your stupid made-up alias. You chose Ian, I steered out of the way didn't I? Enough to make you go high because you won the game.
Yeah, I was so excited for coming, you know, thinking Ian and I, together. But if I knew that he had a pierced ear and a desire for skimpy jeans, he'd been scratched out of my list. Yeah, you won this battle all right, but there's nothing you gain." I smiled. "You can say this to the entire school, for all I care. I'll still be shocked I've gotten into this trap when I haven't even gotten to know Ian better first. What is with the free food, Ian? Seriously, it tasted like cold meat. All of it. And please, walk straight." I said, grabbing my pouch.
"Wait up," Ian said, and he reached for my arm, "I know, I know."
"You know what?! There's nothing to know."
"I'm sorry," he said with his same cold eyes, "Sorry."
I freed myself from his grasp, and Lynette had one more thing to say. "Get out and remember, I won."
"My pleasure." And I did mean it. I sipped a little of the orange juice(it was really artificial, yuck!)and walked out of the house, then called my Mum. I couldn't wait to tell her this, I was happy. Oddly, I was elated. I looked behind, and the door to the house still stood open. But it didn't look welcoming. I peeked inside, and I heard Lynette's muffled voice, cursing me. Ian's was unheard. Maybe he fell asleep of boredom. But I was contented. Really, I was. I'd stood for myself, and I never lied in any of those comebacks. Behind a little crack on the side window, I saw Mack, his face relaxed now, smiling at me, like he'd known everything from top to toe. He waved, and I waved back. Mack isn't that bad of a name.
Lynette already knew this fact. But she's too afraid to know it.
Because, dang it, I won.
But MACK? Add an S and you'll have it, SMACK.
I tried to keep my laughing behind, and I choked up coughing. Ian walked away from me, and then he urged Lynette to get into the house. She dug into her pockets and meddled with the keys. She was so nice here, talking to me like she was sane. What does that mean? I've been misunderstanding her all along?
It was like an invisible bulb just lit up in my head, and I thought of one most sensible answer to why she would follow Mack and Ian, and have their keys.
She's their sister.
"Are you two, siblings?" I asked, internally knowing it already.
He chortled, "Do we look alike?"
I tried to sum up, yes? No? "Uh," it sounded more like a question. But if Lynette were their sister, she'd never refer Mack as 'Ian's brother' would she? So, she's not?
"Your cousin?"
He shook his head, looking perplexed.
"Someone related?"
He shook his head again, and I gave up.
"Fine, is she like, your adopted someone?"
This time, he looked completely baffled. "Why would you say that?"
I shrugged, I couldn't exactly tell him the truth, what if I offended him or something. And he glanced at me up and down, lastly noticing how I looked today.
I tried to smile, but it turned out into a big huge cat-like teeth-ad smile. "You look..." he started.
"Yeahhh??"
"Whatever," he ended, like that! By then, I've stepped into his house. It was utterly dull inside. All angles were bleak white, like someone's just puked white. It made me shudder thinking about how gross I thought of it like. He walked ahead of me, and Mack, walking behind me, gave me a little nod and a sympathetic smile, like he knows what's going to happen. Something that would probably crash me into tiny unbearable pieces. Yeah, so likely me.
I took small steps and into a short hallway, and then around the corner was the living room. The sofas were, fortunately, a little coloured. Beige. Yucks. There placed a small coffee table in the middle and there stood a lovely rose, with thorns untrimmed inside a transparent oval vase. I glanced to the opposite direction, and there stood a big dining table. It was same as mine, crystal quartz-tiled too. The chairs, by the look of it, seemed heavy. And it looked very costly, as usual. Ian was pouring himself some juice, and he got one cup for me, too. I've come to notice he wore exactly how Lynette would expect any of his man to wear. He had this stupid choker on, and his shirt wrote, "No free hugs" and had this black skull in the middle, this looked entirely unlike him. And he wore jeans that was way too small for him, and it made his behind look a little too big. Why'd I care to dress up today anyway? His hair was not easy, like it always was. It was so overly spiked, I could have sworn it'd poke. And I think he pierced his ear. Ewww.
He walked over, the glasses in his hands, and I heard thumping from the stairs. Lynette came down, looking wary.
"Am I disturbing?"
We shook our heads, "We just got to the juice part," I said matter-of-factly. Her eyes widened with curiousity. "I kinda lost my earrings, Ian, could you have seen it?" She stooped around to look for it as I sat on one of the heavy chairs, taking every effort to firstly, lift the chair up, secondly, make it seem light enough for me. I failed the second one, because I could tell my face was all cringed up and in pain, and trust me, that doesn't look good.
"No," Ian replied, and he effortlessly lifted the chair up and slumped onto it. WHAT A GENTLEMAN. "Look Lyn, I'll help you find later, I gotta get back to Winnie."
She nodded, and then stooped around a little more and climbed upstairs.
I breathed in a little, but this time so much more easier. Ian looked tired, bored, and he looked like he would choose dying over talking to me. He wasn't him. And I, didn't like it.
"So," I started, trying to hint him that the conversation have to start.
"Right," he said, "you'd probably know already that Lynette was the one that smooched me."
"Really?"
"No, actually I smooched her."
"REALLY!?" This time, I was taken by shock.
"Yeah, well, it's just that..."
Go on.
"It's not like I don't like you, I just," he stuttered. Ugh, this is so frustrating. I edged around my seat, and I twisted knots around my hair. Hurry up! "I just don't like you enough."
He. doesn't. like. me. enough.
"So what does that mean?" I said, my voice sounding furious. I looked deeply into his eyes again, where was that intense soft look? This sounded like an abyss.
"It kinda means," he said again, his voice emotionless. "I don't exactly like you."
I realized Mack was feeling uncomfortable, and he looked around like he wasn't listening. When did he come in here anyway? He took a little glance at me, with the same apologetic look. And he swiftly stared in front again. He then switched on the TV, and unconsciously flicking the channels.
"You know, frankly," Ian's voice was now harsh, so so harsh, "it was all a dare."
"A dare?"
"Yeah, you were the new kid, my girlfriend's the cutie, and I'm the hunk." he explained, but I couldn't get it. He looked flabbagasted. "Geez, Winnie, think about it,would you?"
I strained. What was he saying?
"I'm saying that Lynette challenged me to go and pretend that I liked you. It wouldn't last forever, and I just took the dare to show her who I am. The brave and courageous one."
"If she was your girlfriend, why would she dare you to come flirt with me?!" I questioned, the pain haven't yet crawled into me, but I was patiently waiting for it.
He laughed his same laugh, but then, it was cruel. Like it were all along, but I was dumb enough to figure it out now.
"Don't get me wrong, I don't flirt with you." He said, looking like he'd make this his joke of 2009. "I just said I liked your bag."
"Yeah, and that we could have a chance in the future and you called me beautiful and stuff."
"Oh gosh, you're sooo naive." Lynette said, walking out. Her friendliness vanished, so predictable, am I wrong?
I turned to her, but Ian didn't budge. He looked at me, with his big you're-too-funny smile. "Come on, he said it was a dare. And anyway, you wouldn't have a chance with him, would you?!"
She laughed, throwing her head backwards. Mack walked away, perhaps he couldn't handle how I'm internally grieving. Well, at least he was empathetic. Not enough to come stand by me, though. I wish Adam was here.
"PLUS!" She added, imitating the E! reporters, "he has the right to call girls beautiful. Anyway, it was made to believe everyone's beautiful. Though we know it doesn't apply to many people." He looked at Ian, and Ian looked back. I was in the middle of the joke. And I'm sitting.
Gosh, I'm sooo naive.
I don't know what turned me on. But enough was enough, I'm 13 going on 14, and I have a right on my own dignity. I'm gonna fight this Lynette. She couldn't be that strong, her hands were made for matte and gloss after all. I wasn't going to punch her, but I know words could kill.
I stood up, kicking the chair behind me, sending it hitting the walls. In the midst of all this, I hope his parents wouldn't blame me for the chair thing. Back to the point, Lynette looked like she was expecting another joke from me, her hands covering her mouth.
Oh Lynette, this is gonna be so funny you couldn't even laugh at it.
Ian watched me, looking bored as usual. Okay, is this who he really is?! Then Lynette's got bad taste, and me, I'm toooo naive. I can't believe I can't even stand out by kicking a chair too hard.
"Look you little make-up fetteshist! Or whatever you call it." I started, standing opposite of her. My hair waved wildly as the wind steered in through the window. It was like the universe was helping me, urging me to go do what I want. The chimes outside was audible, but it didn't sound nice now. It sounded fierce, attacking Lynette with the rest of the universe, including me. I couldn't stand going back with another mystery in my mind, thinking why this happened. I couldn't stand going through the pain that, not because I've been hurt, but because I couldn't voice out. I have to do it. Even if I say something stupid.
She stared at me, still expectant for a joke.
"Let me tell you something, I'm not feared nor hurt by you. Or Ian, as a matter of fact. You're a little too small a size to tackle me. Forget the netball, everyone knows you never play well." I got that information from Mary, who was once in the club but quit because it was too easy to game.
"You played too well, didn't you? That Mary had to quit because it was too game for her." I said, with a tone like I don't have tomorrow to restart this again. In a split second, I have nothing to say.
"And go eat something, you probably have anorexia or something." I pointed out, looking at her skeletal figure. "Yucks. P.S: that's an eating disorder."
She got taken aback by that, and she speared me with her arrow of words. "Of course I know what ANOREXIA IS!You're not that pretty too, if you didn't know."
"Oh, I know." I said, giving her the you-don't-mess-with-me look. "But you're just downright ugly. If you chose Ian as your eternal soulmate, good for you. You two were meant to be together, until, of course, you died of hunger."
"Ugh." she gave her girly 'talk to the hand' gesture. She must as well be dumb to think anyone were to respond to her hand.
"Yeah, ugh as much as you want! I'm outta here, and I don't think I'm as naive as you, Miss Whatever I can't even pronounce your stupid made-up alias. You chose Ian, I steered out of the way didn't I? Enough to make you go high because you won the game.
Yeah, I was so excited for coming, you know, thinking Ian and I, together. But if I knew that he had a pierced ear and a desire for skimpy jeans, he'd been scratched out of my list. Yeah, you won this battle all right, but there's nothing you gain." I smiled. "You can say this to the entire school, for all I care. I'll still be shocked I've gotten into this trap when I haven't even gotten to know Ian better first. What is with the free food, Ian? Seriously, it tasted like cold meat. All of it. And please, walk straight." I said, grabbing my pouch.
"Wait up," Ian said, and he reached for my arm, "I know, I know."
"You know what?! There's nothing to know."
"I'm sorry," he said with his same cold eyes, "Sorry."
I freed myself from his grasp, and Lynette had one more thing to say. "Get out and remember, I won."
"My pleasure." And I did mean it. I sipped a little of the orange juice(it was really artificial, yuck!)and walked out of the house, then called my Mum. I couldn't wait to tell her this, I was happy. Oddly, I was elated. I looked behind, and the door to the house still stood open. But it didn't look welcoming. I peeked inside, and I heard Lynette's muffled voice, cursing me. Ian's was unheard. Maybe he fell asleep of boredom. But I was contented. Really, I was. I'd stood for myself, and I never lied in any of those comebacks. Behind a little crack on the side window, I saw Mack, his face relaxed now, smiling at me, like he'd known everything from top to toe. He waved, and I waved back. Mack isn't that bad of a name.
Lynette already knew this fact. But she's too afraid to know it.
Because, dang it, I won.
